Stand Up Comedians Call Out Rogan: You’re In A F**king Armored Car With Seven Marines [While Telling Us Austin Is Fine]

Joe Rogan has built the biggest podcast in the world, but a growing chorus of comedians are lining up to mock him for everything from his stand-up to his political blind spots, and even his own security team is getting in on the joke.

According to sources, the mockery starts with Rogan’s stand-up, which comedian Caleb Hearon did not hold back on criticizing.

“He’s one of the worst stand-ups I’ve ever seen,” Hearon said. “Sorry to Joe. I’m sure the podcast is doing something for someone. The stand-up is horrible. I don’t know if he was ever good, but he is present day one of the worst stand-ups. I mean, I have seen dr*nk open micers who have never touched a microphone do better than his last intentional special.”

Then there’s the hypocrisy angle. Comedians point out that Rogan will bring up Nancy Pelosi’s finances on a weekly basis, “Nancy Pelosi’s a thousand years old. She’s worth 400 million dollars and she makes 170 grand a year. Make sense out of that,” but performs “Olympic-level mental gymnastics” when similar questions come up about Trump, including Truth Social’s advance access ticket sale.

Guests close to Rogan have also admitted they rarely push back on powerful people he interviews. Comedian J.P. McDade joked, “We have the ear of Donald Trump,” before adding, “We’re telling him exactly what he wants to hear.”

Stavros Halkias then piled on, joking, “And we never ask him a question about being a p*ssy. We don’t ask him about it.”

Rogan’s lofty framing of comedy as some kind of societal defense mechanism has also become a punchline.

“You know, in the comedy world, we say we’re the last line of defense. Cuz this is where the woke meets the wall,” Rogan has said.

Joe List mocked the lofty framing, sarcastically responding, “We’re the last defense before tyranny. We are defenders of the constitution.”

Halkias then added to the joke: “Yeah, we’re at the wall with turrets keeping out the barbarians.”

Perhaps the sharpest jabs are aimed at Rogan’s blind spot on Austin’s homeless population, especially given his history of criticizing California.

“No, there’s homeless people. There’s just not a lot,” Rogan has claimed, “There’s 2,000 to 3,000.”

Tim Dillon was blunt, saying, “There are homeless people. This idea that there is no homeless people there is a lie.”

Even comedians within Rogan’s broader comedy circle have poked fun at what they see as a disconnect between his perception of Austin’s safety and the security measures surrounding him.

During an episode of Tuesdays with Stories, Joe List discussed people who “just act blasé about neighborhoods and c*ime and stuff, but then they always have a g*n on.”

Mark Normand immediately joked, “Oh, interesting. It’s the Rogan effect. Ah, shut up. Austin’s great. Well, you’re in a f**king armored car with seven Marines.”

List then revealed that he had actually had a similar conversation with Rogan.

“I’ve had this exact dialogue with Rogan. He’s like, ‘What? This neighbor? What are you crazy?’ I’m like, ‘You literally have a truck following you with armed guards. And for some reason, you hired 14 Navy Seals to work at the club. And you’re acting like, ‘What are you nuts? It’s fine.””

Even Rogan’s own comedy club staff have poked fun at his self-serious security setup. Comedian Ian Fidance recounted dressing in full tactical gear to mock the retired Navy SEALs guarding the club, admitting, “His head of security was like, ‘We didn’t tell Joe. He doesn’t kind of get, you know, humor stuff like this sometimes.'”

Whether it’s his comedy, his politics, or his fortified comedy club, it seems Rogan’s fellow comedians have plenty of material, and they’re not afraid to use it.