Comedian Bryan Callen has weighed in on one of the internet’s favorite hypothetical scenarios: How many men would it take to defeat a silverback gorilla in a confrontation?
Callen approached the question with mathematical precision, breaking down the numbers in a way that has viewers both laughing and reconsidering their assumptions about primate strength.
“Let’s do some simple math,” Callen began, citing CDC data that the average American male weighs approximately 199.8 pounds, which he rounded to 200. “200 times 100 is what? 20,000. So 20,000 human pounds versus a silverback gorilla, big one, 600 pounds, six feet.”
The comedian confidently declared that in a scenario of 100 men versus one gorilla, “The humans win every single time right away.”
Callen explained his reasoning: “You forget human beings evolved to hunt in packs. So the gorilla has to deal with, I don’t know, 97 dudes on his back, and we got three sacrificial lambs that attack from the front.”
Perhaps his most compelling argument addressed the gorilla’s stamina. “You ever check how a gorilla’s cardio is? They’re not cardiovascular animals. They sit on their ass and chew leaves all day,” Callen pointed out. “That gorilla gets an adrenaline dump in about one minute. Maybe two. Then what?”
Not content with the original scenario, Callen proposed a more interesting matchup: 10 humans versus one gorilla. “That’s 2,000 human pounds versus 600 gorilla pounds. Now we have a conversation because that gorilla is going to work.”
Even in this more balanced scenario, Callen remained confident in humanity’s collective ability. “He better kill or neutralize 2,000 human pounds in under two minutes. I don’t think he can,” he concluded. “I think 10 humans still beat one gorilla. Yeah, I said it.”
This is particularly funny to hear from Callen considering he previously went viral debunking Bo Nickal’s claim that he could take on a chimp.
Comedian Bryan Callen roasted Nickal for this take. He emphasized the aggressive nature of chimpanzees, describing them as “all demons” with a penchant for violence. Callen vividly illustrated the potential dangers Nickal might face, from lost fingers to attacks on vulnerable areas.
Callen’s amusing analysis has sparked renewed debate online, with commenters divided between Team Human and Team Gorilla. Wildlife experts might have different opinions, but one thing is certain: Callen’s comedic take on this unusual matchup has given audiences something to laugh about.
