Journalist Vera Papisova spent a year on an unusual assignment for Cosmopolitan magazine: dating far-right men in New York City to understand their worldview and influences.
“They speak liberal, they have liberal friends, and then they go online, and they are a white supremacist,” Papisova revealed about the double lives many of these men lead.
Throughout her investigation, Papisova discovered consistent patterns in the men she encountered. “They’re the most insecure men I’ve ever sat down with,” she said. “It was really difficult to have some of these dates because they were so insecure, because they don’t really know who they are, and they don’t know how to figure that out.”
One striking observation was their media consumption habits. According to Papisova, these men get their information exclusively from what’s known as the “manosphere” – online spaces dedicated to male interests and perspectives.
“They did not listen to anything else. They’re only listening to independent media, and they’re only listening to men talking to men,” she explained.
A notable trend was their admiration for combat sports personalities. “They love the UFC guys, they love the MMA guys, because those guys do what they can. They’re modern gladiators. They’re badass,” Papisova noted.
One particularly revealing experience came when a date brought her to what was supposedly a political meeting. “And did they talk about politics? Barely,” she recounted. “They talked about, it was a bunch of men complaining about girlfriends and wives, regurgitating Andrew Tate type of advice about how to train your girlfriend, how to train your wife to be submissive.”
Papisova’s conclusion was direct: “And the fact that that’s what most of the time was spent on, you don’t need to be a neo-Nazi. You need therapy.”
Her investigation highlighted how online communities can foster harmful ideologies. “The thing about these guys is their biggest support system is online. But that also is very isolating, and isolation is what breeds hatred,” she observed.
Papisova ended with a call for engagement across ideological divides. “People have to really think about, do you have the capacity to talk to people that you don’t agree with? Because that one nice conversation you might have might change someone’s day enough to not have to seek out help in an online support group. Which is actually a bunch of white supremacists using political beliefs as an excuse for how they feel.
