Former UFC contender Blake Bilder recently opened up about competing in the octagon while under the influence of L$D. In a recent podcast interview, Bilder detailed the circumstances that led to his controversial UFC 289 bout and the personal struggles behind his decision.
Bilder started his MMA journey after a transformative experience with Ayahuasca in Peru. Following a period of depression at age 27, he traveled deep into the Amazon jungle for a week-long retreat.
“I was at the end of my rope,” Bilder explained. The experience fundamentally changed his perspective on plant medicines and their role in his life.
After returning to California, Bilder began what he called “vision quests,” regularly consuming psilocybin mushrooms.
“I was taking 5 to 10 grams of mushrooms every single day,” he revealed. His friend, who operated what Bilder described as a large mushroom chocolate company, encouraged the practice.
Bilder stated: “He was like, ‘This will help enhance you. It’ll increase malleability and neuroplasticity. So what you learn compounds and it’ll build on itself.'”
Bilder’s path to the UFC came during this period. After a pivotal moment on mushrooms where he asked himself what he would do if he knew he couldn’t fail, his answer was immediate: “Go be world champion in the UFC.” He went on a remarkable winning streak, eventually signing with the UFC in 2022.
His first UFC match took place in Perth, Australia, where he consumed mushrooms before competing. The pattern continued, with Bilder believing the stuff enhanced his performance.
“I felt like superhuman,” he said of the mushroom experiences.
The UFC 289 card, headlined by Amanda Nunes, would become Bilder’s most infamous bout. His friend had given him sugar cubes containing L$D, and Bilder had experimented with small doses during training with positive results.
“I had a really good experience at the gym when I was training a couple weeks before my match,” he recalled.
On match day in Vancouver, Bilder intended to take a small amount. “I was only supposed to do a micro,” he explained.
But when he placed the sugar cube on his tongue, the plan went awry. “It just dissolves. And I was like, ‘Oh no, no, no, no. I didn’t want all that.'”
Bilder described the moment of realization with terror: “I heard, ‘Ye of little faith.’ And I was like, ‘Uh-oh.'”
Making matters worse, upon arrival at the venue, officials informed him he had been randomly selected for testing immediately after the match.
Despite being heavily under the influence, Bilder initially performed well. “I won the first round,” he stated. “I was up like 40 strikes to 12.” However, the effects of the L$D severely impacted his perception. “When your pupils are super dilated, the lights create infractions of the fractals. It just messed up my perception.”
The later rounds didn’t go as planned. “The second and third just barely escaped me, but it was pretty close,” Bilder said. He ultimately lost the decision, leading to harsh criticism online.
“Everybody was talking the most unfortunate stuff you could ever experience,” he recalled. The internet commentary even included references to his younger brother, who had recently taken his own life.
UFC 289 on June 10, 2023, marked Bilder’s last use of any such stuff. Following the match, he reconnected with recovery meetings and found a new sponsor.
The man who would become his sponsor initially irritated Bilder by saying, “Yeah, and you probably got your a*s kicked, didn’t you, bud?” about the L$D match.
After working through his resentment in the program, Bilder called the man and asked him to be his sponsor. “Something spiritual happened. And I’ve been good ever since,” he said.
Now living what he describes as a “really calm” life, Bilder sponsors others in recovery and has built a social media presence around the S**cide Sprint Challenge, racing strangers to raise awareness about mental health.
