Mica Miller, worship leader and wife of Solid Rock Church pastor John-Paul Miller, was reportedly taking testosterone at her husband’s suggestion so she could match his s3xual demands, according to friends featured in the Netflix docuseries “D*ath of the Pastor’s Wife.”
Erica Rahr, a close friend of Mica’s, said the singer’s voice had noticeably changed in the months before she passed away, and she eventually learned why.
“There were times off and on where she would lose her vocals. Or she would have her voice changed,” Erica said. “She said, ‘You know all the problems that I’ve been having with my voice? It’s ’cause I took testosterone.’ And I said, ‘What? Why would you do that?’ And she said, ‘Honestly, I heard that it would help me keep up with his s3x drive and make it easier.'”
Erica said the revelation left her surprised, especially given how central singing was to Mica’s identity within the church.
“When she told me, I was in total sh0ck,” Erica said. “Singing was such an important and big part of her life. Her range totally changed, and they had to adjust all the pitches when she was onstage.”
Erica said she was furious on Mica’s behalf once she understood what had prompted the decision.
“I was so mad. I was infuriated,” she said. “Why would you ever recommend that, or do that, to your wife?”
According to friends, JP Miller preached openly to his congregation about wives being obligated to meet their husbands’ s3xual needs, framing refusal as an opening for temptation. Friends said Mica internalized that teaching completely, telling multiple confidants she and JP were intimate multiple times a day, with little room for exception.
Charlotte, another close friend, said Mica described the arrangement plainly. “She would say, ‘Well, we have s3x four times a day.’ And I was like, ‘What?!'” Charlotte recalled. “I get his whole biblical stance on like, ‘Don’t ever say no to your husband.’ But I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous. I’ve never seen anything like it.”
Friends said Mica rarely spoke up about her discomfort, prioritizing what she believed was her spiritual duty as a pastor’s wife over her own well being. When Erica offered to raise the issue directly with JP, Mica declined, saying she didn’t want anything to affect how people in the congregation viewed their faith.
“I told her, ‘I want to address this with John-Paul.’ And she said, ‘I don’t wanna turn people away from Christ,'” Erica said. “I told her, ‘I’m here for you. I don’t care about the church more than you. I don’t care about John-Paul.'”
Friends who spoke to producers said the testosterone use was one of several details that, in hindsight, pointed to a marriage shaped by control rather than partnership, with Mica repeatedly altering her body, her voice, and her boundaries to accommodate her husband’s expectations.
The events leading up to Mica’s death are explored in Netflix’s new true cr*me documentary, which examines the circumstances surrounding the case, including her relationship with her estranged husband. Miller was found d3ad on April 27, 2024, at Lumber River State Park in North Carolina, roughly 70 miles from her home in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina.
Her d3ath came just two days after she served her husband with separation papers. Investigators with the Robeson County Sheriff’s Office determined that Miller died from a self-inflicted g*nshot wound and ruled her death a s*icide.
